I'm sorry, penguin...
...but if you insist I'm going to ha ve to put a hole in your head.
And I'll ha ve to choose another target...
...there's already a ca ve in place of your brain.
When we first met, the hole in Vasco's head was e ven deeper.
At that time, he was just a poor man.
One of the many wretched souls living in Me xico when...
...Porfirio Diaz...
...was trying any thing to win the presidency for the fifth time.
And his tactics weren't alwa ys the friendliest.
- Who are you voting for? - Porfirio Diaz.
Ricardo Vuelta.
- Who are you voting for? - I vote against Diaz.
Take him to the wall!
Dad!
Platoon! Load arms!
Aim!
Fire!
And who are you voting for?
Who could a guy like me vote for?
You didn't answer my question. Who are you voting for?
Are you deaf or what?
I'm sorry, general?
I want to know who you're voting for. You worm!
Answer me!
Long live Me xico!
Long live our re volution!
Long live our X antos!
Who is the bra ve one that started the rebellion?
Good job, son. What's your name?
The y call me Vasco, beca use I alwa ys where this hat.
And since my parents were Basque...
...my father used to clean public toilets in Spain.
He came here with big ideas.
He wanted to introduce the idea of pa y toilets to Me xico.
But he enjo yed hookers so much he spent his very last penny...
...and became a janitor at the San Bernardino toilets.
You know San Bernardino pretty well?
Pretty well? Of course, I was born there.
Very good, Vasco.
Be the leader of my men. The y are bra ve people.
Lead them to the attack! Conquer San Bernardino!
Destro y the Regulares! Annihilate the X antistas!
- Are you talking to me? - Yes, to you!
I now appoint you my lieutenant and commander with full powers!
To Vasco!
Long live Me xico!
Long live the re volution!
Long live Vasco!
Vasco didn't know it yet, but for a dangerous new job...
...Mongo would alwa ys appoint a new lieutenant.
The General would alwa ys arrive when e verything was o ver.
And that also happened at San Bernardino...
...where the conquerors were busy celebrating their victory...
...it was at that point, I arrived.
Don't mo ve, companero! Why are you dressed like that?
What side are you on? Where do you think you're going?
What are you doing with that wagon? What's in there?
Why are you asking so many questions? Let's just kill him!
Your friend is right, companero.
When you're about to die, you don't ask so many questions.
Good job, Vasco! It's all for the glory of Me xico!
- Good job Vasco! - Who is she?
Why are you so pissed?
Do you like the wa y I shoot?
Are you one of them? Then I'll need to search you.
Yes! Go ahead and search her!
Bra vo, Vasco!
Forgive me. I'm sorry.
Come on, shoot that little pig!
He y, look! There's a penguin in San Bernardino!
Let's see if the penguin likes bananas.
Come, here. Come on, come on.
Come to daddy. Take this nice banana.
Ex cuse me, would you please tell me who threw this banana peel?
- I did, why? - Oh, it was you?
This for is you. Take it.
- For me? - Pretend you won a bet.
Please, can you tell me which is the best hotel in town?
The best hotel in town? Well, that's the only one.
It smells like piss, but you'll get used to it.
Thanks. You're a real gentleman. I'm very grateful to you.
No problem, no problem at all, sir. God bless you. God bless you.
No problem, no problem at all.
Vasco, why do you think he ga ve you that dollar?
Beca use the jerk was scared.
I'm looking for General Mongo. Where I can find him, please?
General Mongo's busy conducting a re volution.
Didn't you notice?
I did hear a few shots and see a few dead bodies but...
...I thought it was the typical local folklore.
I'd like to ha ve your best room, and a hot bath, please.
We only ha ve one, and it's taken by that gentleman, o ver there.
He must be important, that gentleman, o ver there.
Yes, he's one of General Mongo's officers, the strongest.
- What's his name? - Who?
- Him. The strongest one. - Pepito. Pepito Tigrero.
Pepito.
Pepito Tigrero. Here we are!
Now the room is free, prepare a nice little bath for me.
And where's Pepito Tigrero going to sta y?
At the hospital.
Please forgive me.
Your mother is a prostitute, your father's a crook and...
...your grandfather is a man with a very broad buttocks.
What did you sa y?
I'll e xplain. Your mother's a whore, your father's a damn thief...
...and your grandfather's a notorious fag.
How dare you?
I generously spared your sister.
Now you know me. Tell General Mongo the Swede is here.
Nice to see you again, miss.
Although, I'd rather entertain bea utiful girls in private.
Since the conversation is dying out, I'm going to relax a little.
I hope this won't bother you.
Or ma ybe there's something I can do for you?
You can join our side.
Why should I do that?
Beca use we are on the side of the reason.
It is not alwa ys a good reason.
We, the X antistas, are fighting for justice and freedom.
Ours is a just ca use.
I heard that in e very country I sold guns in.
You must not sell the weapons to Mongo.
- He's a bandit. - That's why he pa ys well.
You're like all the other strangers, despicable and merciless.
Let's not e xaggerate. To me, it's only a question of price.
If you make a better offer, the arms are yours.
We're mainly students.
And we are fighting to defend the poor people. We are not rich.
Students or bandits, to me it doesn't make any difference.
Send your leader to me.
If he offers more than Mongo, we might be close to an agreement.
Our leader is a prisoner of the Gringos.
A prisoner? What do you mean?
While Madero, Villa, and Zapata were fighting against Diaz...
...we, who are followers of Professor X antos...
...started our own re volution in these territories.
But when Mongo and his bandits arrived, our leader left...
...for the U.S.A., in seeking help for our ca use, the ca use...
...of freedom and justice. Oka y, that's pretty clear.
And what happened after that?
America knew that if the Professor returned...
...their interest in the Me xican oil wells would be lost.
Pretending to protect him, the y locked him up at Fort Yuma.
He's been there for six months now.
No wa y, nothing's going to wake him up.
The penguin hits pretty hard, huh?
If he's that strong, I don't think he ga ve you that dollar out of fear.
Vasco!
The y killed two of our men, down at the station.
The y sa y the Gringo did it.
Let's go.
He y, something's going on down at the square!
Come on, out through the window.
Quick! If the y find you here, we're in trouble!
Look o ver there! Somebody's running awa y!
Long live X antos!
Working for free usually brings me bad luck. Come on.
He shouted, "Long live X antos!", before he fell.
The y were coming out of the penguin's room.
I'm getting nervous.
Get out of the bed or it'll turn into your coffin.
If you're nervous beca use of your interest in the girl, be my guest.
You know very well why I'm here.
You're plotting to help the X antistas.
If in Me xico, what I'm doing, is called plotting...
Stop wasting time, Vasco. He's a X antista. Let's kill him now!
Yes, let's kill him! Shut up!
You are accused of killing two of our men, down at the station.
Are you denying that?
If you understood the Latin sa ying, "Mors tua vita mea"...
...you would understand why I did it.
But I guess you did not attend any courses in Humanities.
So you better go call General Mongo.
He's a good friend of mine and I'm sure he's waiting for me.
What's waiting for you is something else, you'll see.
- Take him awa y. - Mo ve!
- See you later. - Mo ve fast!
Yes, I'll see you later. Don't worry.
Me xicans aren't good enough for you?
But I've got a special treatment for those of your kind.
Penguin, what was that thing about "morsel two and vita mea"?
Tell me again. I forgot about it.
I'd like to e xplain to you that, as a foreign citizen...
...I'm entitled to the protection of my Country's ambassador.
- But I guess there's no point to it. - You're right.
That's what I thought.
And the General? Did he arrive?
No, but the time has arrived for you to die.
You're making a big mistake.
I told you, the General's my friend. He's the one who called me.
When the General is awa y, I'm the one in charge here.
You'll see what a nice trick I've prepared for you.
Anyhow, listen to me...
...if you tell me why you ga ve me this dollar...
...I'll make sure you die instantly. I won't let you suffer.
You don't want to know. You'll feel too bad.
You're going to feel a lot worse, I promise you.
You start as soon as I raise my hand!
My hands are busy. Send someone to rub my nose.
People of Me xico!
You're about to witness the squashing of the head...
...of this son of a penguin!
- For General Mongo, charge! - Let's go!
Get rid of that old jalopy! Get it out!
How dare you insult your General's car! You piece of shit!
You are demoted, you son of a bitch!
You're lucky I'm only remo ving your rank and not your head!
Get out of my wa y and don't come back!
- Out of my wa y, I said! - Of course, General.
Of course, of course. I'm lea ving right now.
Where is the Swede?
I'm going to hang you all if you don't bring him to me alive, now!
Mongo, my friend, you don't know how much I missed you.
By San Bernardino, to me your life is worth less than garbage.
Diaz's go vernment is a cesspool.
And I don't give a damn about the X antista's high ideals.
I e xpect something better from the re volution.
I want a large sum of mone y.
And since the mone y is locked in a Swedish safe...
...it takes a Swede to open it, a son of a bitch like you.
I do share your noble ideals, General.
But why do you need a safe to get rich?
You ha ve the whole city to loot. Just sell that statue.
It's ancient and worth a lot of dough.
You're crazy!
No Me xican would dare put a hand on that holy relic.
No. You're going to help me get a hold of the mone y.
I'll tell them we need it to buy your arms, and we'll share it.
I'll give you a third of the loot and I'll be gone with the rest of it.
You'll be the alibi to fool them all. How does that sound?
Very ingenious.
What's going on? What are the y doing, those idiots?
You're acting like animals! Stop firing! It won't help!
This damn safe contains all the riches of our nation.
But my men were ne ver able to open it.
If you want to be paid for your arms, you open it.
You do know how, don't you?
Well?
It's a Svenson, wheel model. Reinforced, triple German steel.
It's got a special combination lock.
It weighs more than two tons. God himself couldn't open it.
The only wa y is to know the combination.
There must be some manager or clerk who knows it.
Or did you kill them all?
All e x cept for one, Professor X antos. He's in Yuma now.
But, how can we possibly bring him back here?
It's not impossible.
I'll take care of it.
I'll go to Yuma. And I'll bring X antos back to San Bernardino.
Of course! How wonderful!
With that mone y, we're on our wa y to a glorious victory!
Thank you, Swede. Thank you in behalf of our belo ved fatherland.
You're welcome. We'll split the treasure my wa y. Half and half.
Three shares for me, one for you.
Take it or lea ve it General. Do you agree?
Rest assure that we trust you unconditionally. Go then!
Go! Come back with our enemy!
- General Mongo. General Mongo! - I n you we trust.
Sorry for intruding.
Ma y I?
I ma y be just a piece of crap. But what about you?
You're going to trust some one who killed two of our men?
What if he's a spy?
He's right, Mongo!
What else can we do then?
As a foreigner, he's the only one who can cross the border.
Any Me xican would be stopped.
Not a Me xican accompanied by a citizen of a neutral country.
Why don't you come with me?
You can keep an e ye on me, and help me too.
Right!
I won't be your servant! I will not serve a stupid penguin!
I understand. You're scared.
He y, calm down. Calm down both of you.
Come on, Vasco. The Swede didn't mean to offend you.
Besides, you called him a penguin. Now you're e ven.
If you really want to fight with him...
...you guys can alwa ys do that when you get back.
I'm offering you the opportunity to earn back your former rank...
...and all the privileges that go with that rank.
Go with him. Help him out.
Ne ver take your e yes off him.
And bring us that bastard, X antos!
I'm asking you to do it for your General...
...for your companeros...
...for our re volution.
- If you insist, oka y. - Long live the re volution!
Doesn't heat like this kill penguins?
Well, it certainly isn't comfortable.
Now you can tell me why you ga ve me this dollar.
I don't think this is quite the right moment.
Good morning, Lieutenant.
Who are you? Where are you going?
My name is Yodlaf Peterson.
I'm a Swedish citizen, going to Hermosillo to get a train to the U.S.
Here's my passport.
Who's he?
He's my servant.
Go ahead, Sergeant.
This is an operational area.
We must photograph and register e veryone who's undocumented.
- We're at your disposal. - Oh, no. It's just for him.
A good system of control.
Oka y, Vasco. Let them take your photograph.
- Take what? - All right, dismount! Now!
Yes, you. Come on, dismount!
Ha ve a little patience, Lieutenant. He's just an ignorant peasant.
Come on, Vasco. It's easy. Just stand in front of the platoon.
Sure. Sure, sure.
A bit more to your right.
Mo ve to your left. A little more...
...still more, more. A little more.
There, that's it. Now, don't mo ve.
Ready?
One. Two. Three.
You're an idiot!
A widow?
It must be sad for you to alwa ys tra vel and sleep alone.
I'm not alone. I'm tra veling with these.
Your late husband's?
No, the y're mine. Sta y where you are and keep your hands up.
- We won't hurt anybody. - If the y don't ask for it!
Nobody mo ve!
Ha ve we arrived?
No, it's a robbery.
We had no other wa y of getting mone y.
But we don't want it for ourselves.
We're not bandits.
We are re volutionaries
And we're fighting for our country's freedom.
Long live freedom!
For a re volutionary, and e ven a bitch, but she's not bad looking
What should we do with those two?
The Swedish one, there. He helped us once.
But the other is one of Mongo's lieutenants.
- We better shoot him! - No! Let's hang him instead.
No. Professor X antos ta ught us not to use violence.
Killing this bandit without a trial would just put us on his le vel.
Of course, she's right. The lady is right, my friends. No violence!
Shut up!
Careful. Don't make me regret being generous.
Stop him! Stop him! He's stealing the train!
Penguin! Wait for me!
Penguin!
Let's go kill! Companeros!
Let's go!
Let's go to Yuma! To Yuma! Help me.
You son of a bitch!
He y John, listen to this.
An unknown Me xican escaped after brutally murdering eight men.
With the help of Yodlaf Petersen, a Swedish citizen.
There's a reward of 2000 pesos for the capture of these two men.
The y were last seen heading for Te xas aboard the train the y stole.
What did you sa y the Swede's name was?
The Swede, Yodlaf Peterson. Why, do you know him?
Do we know him, Marshall?
We know him e xtremely well.
Marshall will signal the arrival of the train.
Come out, John.
I saw Marshall flying around o ver here.
And where ver you go, he goes.
Yodlaf! What a nice surprise.
- Good to see you again, John. - The pleasure is all mine.
I ne ver thought you'd get down off that cross I nailed you to.
But I did, see?
John and I got into serious trouble in Cuba.
We sold some defective merchandise to the rebels.
To sa ve my own life, I had to blame e verything on him.
John, how did you get out of that mess?
I owe it all to Marshall.
He's the only one that didn't abandon me.
He freed me from the nail that was pinning my flesh to the tree.
How? Did he pull the nail out with his beak?
No, he ate my hand off. Look.
Well, these things happen.
It was good seeing you again, John. But I must go now.
You aren't going anywhere.
He's yours.
That's enough.
The y want you dead or alive.
And since I ha ve a choice, naturally, I fa vor...
...the first solution.
You won't hold it against me, will you?
No. I can take a joke.
You sta y here and keep him company...
...up until the final moment, Marshall.
Pretty hot, huh?
Vasco, shoot that damn animal!
You made him mad. You're a penguin, you should understand...
...he gets pissed off if you treat him like that.
Sooner or later...
...e very son of a bitch comes to a brutal end.
Get me down from here!
Calm down, calm down.
Die in peace. Don't worry.
I will alwa ys keep this as a reminder of you.
Damn heat!
What about the re volution?
What happened to your ideals? And to your mission with Mongo?
- You want some? - No, thanks.
X antos! We ha ve to take him to San Bernardino to open the safe.
The Re volution needs that mone y, companero.
You can't get the Professor out of Fort Yuma by yourself.
Help me down, Vasco.
Help me down! I can't take it anymore!
Oka y, oka y. But...
...first...
...you ha ve to swear...
...by San Bernardino...
...that this is the last time you'll try to fool me.
I swear, by any Saint you want.
Don't go anywhere.
Are you a Catholic?
Of course I'm a Catholic.
Quick! Hurry up!
Oh, God! Oh, God!
What the hell are you doing?
I ha ve vertigo! I'm afraid! I can't do it! Oh, God!
What do you mean, you ha ve vertigo?
Come on, hurry up! The rope is choking me!
I fooled you, huh?
Vertigo? Me?
Watch this. The hell with vertigo. Look at this.
Good job, companero.
If you e ver come to Sweden, I'll introduce you to my sister.
Bea utiful e yes, blue like the sky, like only you ha ve.
Penguin, you're not dead! Are you? Don't joke!
What about the re volution? Penguin!
Penguin, the blood is going to my head.
Everything is black! Penguin, help!
The pawn mo ves, and checkmate.
You see, Mr. Rosenbloom?
I n chess, e ven the weakest piece can win o ver the stronger pieces.
When one has principles, e very thing is possible.
- We appreciate your principles. - And we're here to help you.
We're ready to invest a great deal of mone y in your ca use.
Human nature has often surprised me with its sudden generosity.
But e xperience has ta ught me the rich ne ver lend to the poor...
...without e xpecting something in return.
We want nothing more than a guarantee...
...that we'll continue to ha ve what we've alwa ys had until now.
Recognition of our rights by any new go vernment coming into power.
What do you mean?
Sign the ninety-nine year contract granting us the oil rights...
...and we'll help you return to Me xico and win your re volution.
We ha ve the means to do it.
The Me xican re volution needs nobody's help to triumph.
Now get out of here!
Your tactics are disgusting. You make me sick to my stomache.
Se venteen. Black.
How do you pla y that?
Bet on a number. If it lands on it, you win thirty-six times your wager.
Really?
Try it.
That looks good.
- Thirteen, red. - There, there.
- Can I pla y any number I want? - Take your choice.
- Ninety-nine. - You can't bet on ninety-nine!
You told me I can pla y any number I want!
I want ninety-nine, if you don't pla y it, I'll shoot you in the ass.
But ninety-nine doesn't e xist.
Didn't you tell me any number I want?
Please, tell him that number doesn't e xist.
I'll give you a different number, companero.
The lucky one will win.
There are two of us, right?
Then let's bet on number two.
But if we lose you tell me why you ga ve me that dollar, oka y?
Right.
- What the hell did you sa y? - A few magic words to help us.
Thirty-three. Black.
Sorry for you guys.
And I'm sorry for you, buddy.
Yeah, this matter could lead to mortal displeasure.
I made a mistake. How stupid of me! The winning number is two.
This is your lucky da y. Let's see. One, two, three...
- Thirty-six. Thirty-six dollars. - Of course.
Gentlemen, the tables are closed now.
Besides, there's suddenly something wrong with my nose!
I better go take care of it. Good afternoon, good afternoon.
Ne xt time we'll bet on ninety-nine so we'll win more mone y.
Ma ybe.
That mone y belongs to me, sweetie.
I n Dallas, you said you needed it for you Aunt's funeral.
I n San Antonio you had to get your horse out of hock. I n Wichita...
Wichita was the best night e ver. Unforgettable!
I'm getting nervous.
Companero, let me introduce you to Zaira, wonderful Zaira...
...amazing Zaira. The only blonde I know who's blond all o ver.
You're the only Swede I've e ver met. Hopefully, you'll be the last.
If I were you, young man, I'd be keeping better company.
This is your chance for a new e xperience!
And your moment of glory, you Latin stud.
Ex cuse me, isn't she your woman?
Yes, but these sort of things we Swedes don't care about.
Zaira, I'm going to a meeting. Keep this young stud with you.
This is one chance you don't want to let slip through your fingers.
Lea ve it to me.
You think you can resist me?
I can try.
X antos is very famous.
The U.S. Has to release him soon to a void an international scandal.
If he returns safely to Me xico, and wins the re volution...
...we'll lose our oil concessions.
It's a risk we can't afford, John. We can't let that happen.
You know the fee.
Ten thousand dollars...
...to be paid when the job is done.
But we've brought you a little pleasure as an advance.
A very welcome gift.
The job will be done.
John, the Swede is gone! Someone must've released him.
Marshall, you're getting old!
- She's blonde e verywhere! - What happened?
It was too much of a shock, I guess.
You better take him awa y. I ha ve to get to the Fort on time tonight.
The Commandant has invited me to his birthda y party.
Me and my girls. We are to get in after dark and out before da ylight.
To protect the reputation and prestige of the U.S. Army.
I'll help you protect the prestige of the U.S. Army.
He y, what's going on in your mind, Swede?
Sergeant! He y, Sergeant!
Out of the wa y!
- Ah, you're here. - Good e vening, Sergeant.
- Same bunch as usual? - Yes, same as usual.
I've ne ver seen her before.
That's right. Of course, I forgot. She's a new one.
Let's not waste time. I'll let you try her when you come see us.
All right, I'll count on it.
Open the gate!
Squad, attention! Left, face! Get in step, forward, march!
Here the y are.
Very well. Finally!
Welcome to the Fort, Miss Zaira. More bea utiful than e ver.
And you, Captain, are as gallant as e ver.
What are you gaping at? Back to your barracks. Go to bed!
Clear the yard, go on!
Happy Birthda y!
Hurra y! Congratulations! Cheers!
Jimmy, I understand you ha ve a very important guest at the Fort.
Who, Professor X antos?
He's upstairs. He's an old bookworm, and not interested in young women
Fire! Fire! Hurry, sound the alarm!
Alarm! Hurry up! Get the buckets!
Start forming a chain! Bring the horses out!
Over there, mo ve! Faster! Faster!
Get all of the horses out of the stalls!
Faster, faster!
Ex cuse me, sir but we're on fire.
Yes, we sure are, dearie.
You don't understand, the Fort's burning down!
- What? - Fire! It's spreading like crazy!
Send for the Yuma City Fire Department, hurry!
Attention! Everybody listen! The fort is on fire!
Evacuate the building. Get out, hurry! Hurry! Get out, get out!
The alarm! The alarm!
Fire! Fire! The fort is on fire! Get the water wagons, now!
We've got one hell of a blaze out there!
Penguin!
Go to the tank.
Zaira!
- Where is he? - Upstairs.
- What about the Professor? - I'll take care of him.
Get outside and help the others. Hurry!
- Wait! Who are you? - There's no time for e xplanations.
Your people are waiting for you, the y need you.
You must get out of here.
I will return to my country legally, not like an escaped convict...
...but like a man who wins his freedom without violence.
Sometimes you ha ve to use violence, Professor.
No! Give me just one case where violence is necessary.
This one.
What happened? Where's the water? Damn it!
I'll fill up the tank, Sergeant!
Oka y, but hurry up! Mo ve on! Faster! Let's fight this fire!
Go, horse! Mo ve, mo ve!
Vasco, come here! Take him.
He weighs a ton.
Stuff him all the wa y in. Keep stuffing. Keep stuffing.
Only women like you are good for something. Thanks.
Come on, horse. Mo ve it!
He y, wait!
Bye, blondie!
Things are going our wa y.
Now It'll be easier to get X antos.
How do you feel, Professor?
I think he's mute. He hasn't said a word since we left the Fort.
Professor, why are those idiots so anxious to get killed for you?
What the hell do you tell them?
Tell us what you tell them, and see how we react.
I bet the poor mute man is also deaf.
No, he can hear and speak. Just not quite the wa y you do.
You're not Me xican, are you?
No. I am Swedish.
I think he is blind. He can't e ven see that you're a foreigner.
From Stockholm.
Will you tell me what you propose to do with me, now that you've freed me?
He wants to turn you o ver to Mongo, to be shot.
I suppose you ha ve more serious motives than that fanatic.
Certainly, I'm doing it for the mone y.
At least that's more reasonable. But it depends on how much.
Let's sa y half of what's in the safe, in San Bernadino.
One more word in that damn language and shoot both of you.
Take it easy, Vasco. The Professor knows my language.
We were talking about my country.
I don't care what you were sa ying! Sa y it in a Christian language. Mine!
There's no reason to get e x cited. Take the first watch, instead.
I'll sleep a little.
Yeah, I'll do that.
I don't care what he said. I can tell you why we got you out of prison.
I know why.
To ha ve me assassinated by General Mongo.
No! It's beca use of the safe.
General Mongo wants the mone y to finance the re volution.
He's a man of facts. He doesn't belie ve in silly words, like you do.
You're wrong. Mongo will abandon you once he reaches his goal.
You don't know Mongo. Everybody knows what he wants.
First, the peasants will own the land.
Second, the workers will own the factories that the y work in.
And all the riches of Me xico will be divided among the poor.
And all the people like you, that know how to read and write...
...will be burned with their books, trust me!
Where are the y?
I don't know, but if you want, I can go look for them.
Very funny!
It's still warm, John. The y can't be far.
That's nice.
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Understand? The y'll come looking for you, when the y hear you scream.
This gofer is starving. He hasn't eaten for a week.
I don't know where the y are. I didn't see anything.
How cute.
I was sleeping, I didn't see anything.
When he's eaten all the roots, he'll start digging his wa y out of the trap.
His claws are so strong he can dig right through the ground.
He won't ha ve much trouble with your belly.
Keep mo ving. It's that crazy Vasco ha ving one of his la ughing fits.
- All by himself? - Yeah, he has them often.
It doesn't sound normal. Perhaps we should go back and get him.
There's no reason to worry. Come on.
Penguin! Penguin!
I can't belie ve he'd la ugh like that all by himself, without a reason.
Fine, don't belie ve me, but do you see that falcon o ver there?
It means someone's there with Vasco that we'd better a void.
- For our own sake. - Then the y're torturing him.
If the y get a hold of us, the y'll torture us too. So get mo ving!
No! I'm not going anywhere.
Why do you care for a bastard who wants to turn you o ver to Mongo...
...and ha ve you killed?
No man has the right to render final judgment on another man.
And all mistakes can be corrected.
I don't care about your philosophy.
All I care about is you and the mone y that you mean to me!
- Give me those glasses! - Why?
The only wa y to free your countryman...
...is to catch that damn bird.
I don't understand how that can free Vasco.
The falcon is a very curious animal.
He'll come down to find out what's shining.
And when his master sees his friend is missing...
...he'll come looking for him.
Professor, the jacket, quick!
Marshall must ha ve found them. You sta y here and guard him.
We'll go see what's happening.
Hold him still. When Vasco stops screaming, let him go.
- Oka y? - Yes, oka y.
God! I can't stand it anymore!
Penguin! Penguin! Don't lea ve me here! Don't lea ve me here!
To hell with Mongo! Long live X antos! Long live Mongo! Long live whoe ver!
Oh, my God, I'm dying! Oh, my God! Oh, God!
Oh, my God! Penguin!
Penguin, fuck you!
There he is.
Didn't find them? Don't worry. You're still my best friend e ver.
Keep mo ving!
If you knew I wanted to turn you o ver to Mongo...
...why did you convince him to sa ve me?
If we continue to tra vel together, you will learn a lot.
It's the Rio Grande.
We're in Me xico.
You asked me a question a moment ago.
Now I will answer it.
I insisted on sa ving you beca use we belong to the same land.
Can you understand that?
I'm not as stupid as you think.
I ha ve a question too, e ven though I don't belong to the same land.
How are we going to get past those soldiers?
Nothing new to report, sir.
Double your guards. Destro y all re volutionaries...
...with X antos or with Mongo.
No one is to be allowed to cross the border. Understand? No one!
Yes, sir.
How very strange!
These turtles are of a tropical origin...
...and are alwa ys found near water.
How ha ve the y managed to tra vel so far from the river?
Look! There are more here.
The y are very rare in Me xico.
I bet you don't ha ve them in Sweden, am I right?
Yeah. You're alwa ys right, Professor. So, what's your point?
My friends...
...I found a wa y. - To do what?
The Professor goes in here.
Sure, and us?
Where are you going, Father?
To bury our belo ved Prior in our blessed land.
- What is your order? - San Bernardino.
All right, let them pass.
Wanted.
Our professor who art inside, please be quite an enjo y the ride.
Just one noise no matter how small, and we'll end up against the wall.
For the sake of San Bernardino, Amen.
This is our sector.
If we follow the General's plan to the letter...
...within a month all the re volutionaries will be destro yed.
- Where are you going, Fathers? - To bury our belo ved Prior.
All right. Let them pass.
Just a minute. Stop!
Sergeant. Let's see what's in the coffin.
Yes, sir.
Come on, you two! Didn't you hear that?
Colonel, It is my duty to inform you...
...our Prior was taken from us by an infectious disease, Cholera.
I can't risk ha ving my troops spread this epidemic.
Let them go now. On your wa y! Don't let anybody touch the coffin.
Not for any reason!
Come, Brother. Let's retrie ve our Prior.
We better burn the coffin...
...so there's no chance of contamination.
And I think we should burn those contaminated monks, as well.
I think the y would be happy to accompany the Prior on his last trip.
What now?
Professor, when we start shooting, quickly jump onto the red truck.
It's the only hope we ha ve of sa ving our lives.
- Ready? - Let's go!
Vasco, step on it!
Get them!
Damn, it's stuck!
Faster! Speed up!
We did it, Vasco! No more problems!
Oh God!
Come on!
Gosh, John. It must've been a lo vely dive.
Yeah. Straight to hell, I hope.
Careful! Don't mo ve. The bird will give us awa y.
What do we do now?
I'll take care of that damn bird.
He y, sa ve a leg for me. And make it well done.
First you ha ve to sa y please. But I ne ver please anybody.
Oh, well...
...then I hope you choke.
It's time for you to realize this is my country, and I do whate ver I want.
...if you don't like it, you know where you can go.
Calm down. Nationalism has alwa ys been a sign of fear and insecurity.
I'm not afraid of anyone, Professor. Do you understand?
It was terribly cruel to kill that poor bird.
It's a Vulture Loricatus. It's very rare, and of almost human intelligence.
That's why it tastes like shit!
Well, at least I can feed it to my turtles. The y're dying of hunger.
Your turtles are dying of hunger? Fuck you and your turtles!
I ha ven't eaten in two da ys!
With General Mongo this would ne ver happen. Ne ver!
Ma ybe he was trying to trick you into following him, by feeding you.
No, not me.
- Ask him. - That's not true.
How?
Go ask him.
I n Sweden we sa y please, but I don't want to please you, jackass.
I'll make you please me. Do you understand?
Young men, please. If you must fight, then do it fairly.
Drink, here, drink!
You asked for it.
Professor!
Damn it, he's gone!
Where are the other two?
The y're busy digesting Marshall.
It's true. The y barbecued him, then the y ate him.
Where is Professor X antos?
Professor, are you going to tell me where the y are?
I wouldn't tell you, e ven if I did know.
Very well.
Colonel, this man is wanted by your go vernment, and by mine as well.
He committed murder, robbery, and abo ve all, treason.
Therefore, I request that he be e x ecuted immediately.
Our last kiss.
Happy now?
I know you don't appro ve of this, Lola.
X antos would be against it, too.
He ta ught us there is ne ver a reason to kill.
The y won't tell us where the Professor is. And why?
Beca use the y murdered him!
And the y will pa y with their lives! Go on, give the order to fire!
No, it's your decision. You give the order to fire.
Companeros, prepare to fire!
Listen, before I die, just tell me why you ga ve me this dollar.
Why don't you want to live?
Tell me, Vasco. Where is X antos?
I'll tell you. But first you need to put down those guns.
Here's another one.
Companeros, we're on the right trail.
Here, make a little comb out of this, when your hair grows out.
Make yourself a soup with it.
He y, Swede, what do these turtles ha ve to do with the Professor?
Ever heard the story of Tom Thumb? He'd lea ve a trail behind himself.
So does the Professor.
I n the name of the republic of Me xico and Porfirio Diaz...
...you, Professor Vitaliano X antos...
...are found guilty of murder, robbery, rebellion, and abo ve all else...
...treason. Ex ecution shall be carried out immediately.
Proceed, Captain.
Platoon! One pace forward!
Load!
Ready! Aim!
Penguin!
Those soldiers you killed in order to sa ve me were human beings.
And to kill a human being, e ven if he's your enemy, is a crime.
Isn't that what I've alwa ys ta ught you? Isn't it?
What should we ha ve done? Stood there and watched you die?
The power in our belief is that we ha ve no fear of death.
We do not need guns to triumph.
Bo ys, don't you e ver forget this principle.
If the ca use you're fighting for is a just ca use...
...you can win without violence. - But the others ha ve rifles!
And when the y ha ve killed us all, our ideals will be dead too!
And our re volution will ne ver triumph!
Look! Rifles, pistols, knives, ammunition!
You're no different than General Mongo! You ha ve no morals left.
Words are of no use to us anymore, Professor!
We must respond to violence with violence!
To respond differently is cowardice!
Forgive me.
Evidently, I ha ve become too old.
And you are all very young.
It could very well be...
...that your wa y of thinking is more current than mine.
But my conscience finds it re volting.
Do you remember?
My God! You've kept it all this time!
Close to my brain, to remind me of you.
I really don't understand you.
You don't like me, do you?
I don't like bandits.
Good shot, General!
Right in the head!
Mo ve!
Climb, X antista! Use your muscles!
If you reach that gun before I shoot you in the back, you'll ha ve...
...the honor of fighting the great General Mongo.
Let's see what you can do.
He'll end up like all the others, General.
It's a cruel game that leads nowhere.
You ha ve a tender heart, wooden hand.
You can call me sir. I like that better.
Do you know a more amusing wa y of killing them, sir?
No, but I know a more useful wa y.
You want X antos, but those you sent ha ve betra yed you.
- You're lying. - John ne ver lies.
Especially when he's serious.
The y won't bring you X antos, but those students can.
I don't see how.
All you need to do, is tell him that you'll hang them all if...
...he doesn't turn himself o ver to you.
Very cle ver. It might work.
But what is your interest in this?
Personal reasons.
And ten thousand dollars
You know, we ha ve to think about our old age.
All right, Professor. Let's come to terms.
You give me e verything that's in that safe in San Bernardino.
And I'll be willing to go o ver to your side.
I can be very useful to you with my complete lack of scruples.
All right, if that's all you ask for...
...you will get what you want.
Our leader, General Mongo has sent us here to tell you that...
...we are holding twenty of your followers prisoner.
If Professor X antos does not come to Mongo by tomorrow...
...the y will be hanged. Understand?
Amigos, tomorrow is yet to come, but for the moment...
...I suggest you drop your guns and start pra ying for you souls.
The y were right about you turning into a filthy traitor.
You and that pig of a Swede!
Vasco!
Put the guns awa y.
The y are carrying a white flag.
Professor...
...Mongo and I ha ve screwed up a lot of people carrying a white flag.
Now it's different. You're no longer a bandit.
Tell Mongo I'll be there.
Oka y, Professor! We'll be waiting for you. Adios!
Don't go, Professor. Please. The y will kill you!
Don't worry.
I'll talk to Mongo and I'll try to convince him.
I know what he wants from me.
We'll go with you. Without our guns.
No. That would be a mistake. A big one.
And perhaps a useless massacre.
I want your word of honor that you will not follow me.
It's your old professor asking you to obe y, for the last time.
We give you our word of honor.
Thank you.
Muchachos, are you gonna let him go all alone like that?
I mean, he's an old man, poor thing. Those people will kill him.
We ga ve our word of honor.
So you don't go beca use you ga ve your word of honor?
Yes.
You know something?
I don't ha ve any honor.
Wooden hand was right, General. Vasco and the Swede betra yed us.
- And X antos? - Professor, he's on his wa y...
...your Ex cellency.
Alone?
All alone, my General.
Look, here comes X antos.
Lea ve it to me. General Mongo! The professor wants to talk to you!
- Are you hurt? - No. The dollar sa ved me.
He's all yours.
No, no. Don't kill me. I didn't do anything wrong.
I've alwa ys been your friend. You know that, Vasco...
...and so do you, Swede. I don't give a damn about the re volution.
I just wanted a little mone y, that's all. Only it didn't work.
I'm through. I'm finished. Look! Take my weapons. You can't kill me.
You can't kill an unarmed man! I'm afraid. No! I don't want to die!
Vasco! Let him go. There's been enough killing in San Bernardino.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you, Professor.
Long live the re volution!
Long live X antos! Long live the re volution!
The combination to the safe, Professor.
Long live Me xico.
Our soil, our grain, our labor.
I ha ven't lied to you. All of our wealth is right there.
If you sta y with us, you'll ha ve your share.
Lola, what's the matter?
We've got to get married first.
- Oka y, let's get married. - But there's no priest.
He's more important than a priest.
But I don't ha ve a veil. You need a veil to get married.
I'll give you a veil.
Take this.
Let's kneel down.
Will you, Vasco...
...what's your real name?
Modesto Servando I rureta Go yena.
Will you, Modesto Servando I rureta Go yena...
...called Vasco.
...called Vasco, take me as your wife, to live with all of your life?
Yes.
Swear it on San Bernardino.
I swear it on San Bernardino.
Penguin...
...I'm sorry...
...but I can't let you take him. He's too important for us.
I'm sorry, also, companero.
But I ne ver lea ve empty handed.
Just one shot.
When Lola rings the bell, right?
All right.
Listen...
...now you might want to tell me why you ga ve me this dollar.
I bet myself that on my arrival in San Bernardino, I'd give a dollar...
...to the first jackass I met.
Companero, I met you.
The game's not quite o ver yet.
For you it is, but not for me!
- I've got three bullets in my gun. - Three. Just as many as you are.
And this time, I won't miss.
There are four of us, now. Don't pla y tricks, Americano.
I've ne ver killed anyone...
...but I will now, unless you drop that gun.
Professor!
Hit the ground!
Professor!
It wasn't loaded.
Professor X antos! Professor X antos!
The soldiers are coming! The soldiers are coming!
Professor!
Penguin!
Are you going to lea ve us now?
A man like you should sta y and fight with us.
With what? The arms that were in the freight car?
Or with the ideals of those kids?
Why not?
Sta y with us, companero.
You can be a winner if you fight for your ca use.
Together we can make it.
But if I sta yed...
...I'd ha ve to take that dollar back.
Companeros!
Let's go fight, companeros!